Frustration besieged...

25 June 2012 * 7.40am * Glenny's Living Room

Life is such. Just as I begin to forget that Lit's going back to Malaysia for good, reality creeps back to bug me.

It sucks.

It really does.

Turning 24.. What's the Hoo-ha?

8.28pm * 18 June 2012 * Glenny's Kitchen

Yesterday, I was 24 years old. It was really lovely... the way Lit planned the day.. Slotted in a full body massage near Melbourne Central and it was fantabulous! lol... the masseur, a relatively young Chinese lady touched my neck and said "oo, your shoulders are really stiff and your legs are tired!". Yea, no kidding. Been working on 9am-8pm shifts few days in a row will do THAT to you.. let alone to a 24 year old body.

lol. I was rocking shifts like those throughout Summer of 2009 and if memory serves me right, I was up and ready to work the very next day. Hell, I can even make time for gym sessions after a day's work.

Last month during Lit's birthday, I was so puzzled by his sudden melancholy. We have been demotivated and stressed about the uneventful job hunt for sure but he had always put up a tough and positive front... Maybe he had been my rock for too long that I took him for granted. He's just a human being... like me.

I, too, felt that melancholy has enveloped me. It's hard not to think about stuff that you have not achieved.. Jobless and living in limbo... the cherry on top was to have your boyfriend leave the country for good... by the end of this month. Leaving... after your birthday. All the more reason to cast a grey cloud over your birthday. But if by participating and having something to celebrate can serve as a temporary bandaid over the pandora's box of problems.. I'll gladly oblige.

The day was just that. Had a great lunch date in Shoya on Lt Bourke St... the Set Lunch was $38 and MASSIVE. We had to skip and run over from Melbourne Central to Shoya because I got a complimentary 10 minutes from Royal City Oriental Massage =)) The Massage was worth every cents! I think the lady got so worked up trying to rid me of my butt knots. Really. Apparently the knots near my hips and butts area were troubling. Wonder what I did to cause that...

Lit went to through the trouble to get Jing Yi and Cheer Ray out of their respective lives to have a drink with me in Koko Black.. So tempted to have that saliva-inducing Ice Mocha but my stomach was at its capacity after the bountiful afternoon degustation! Gahh!! I'll shall have that in my next visit then =(  It's great seeing the couple of them again.. It's been a while.. I found out how much Jing Yi has grown! From whining over the nauseating train ride to Clayton to visit me.. to working in Springvale 5 days a week. Boy, we would do anything for a job huh?

Anyway, we then headed home for the 'surprise' party.. which let's face it.. it's pretty much expected. It was great having friends over.. enjoying a good meal cooked by Lit.. pork ribs, chicken wings, salmon wrapped in rice paper and garlic bread.. The best part was the ice cream cake baked by Lit. That guy.. for a first time baker.. he HAD to choose something THAT HARD. The truth is, I'm so proud of him... =)) He really made that Betty Crocker devil chocolate cake his own!

If you're reading this, think you might has noticed the change of tone half way through this post. Even though I would love to dwell on the past wrong-doings.. but really it doesn't do anyone any good. The important part is to pick yourself up and soldier on right? Think I'mma get a rubber band around my wrist and 'snap' away these negative thoughts.

In fact, I think The Malaysian Magazine is sort of like a birthday present, for me to do good by me. lol.. if that even make sense. It won't be easy but I have faith in Joyce =) lol. She'll be the great leader to lead us on~

Well, being 24 years and 1 day old today.. I think I should focus on what I can do to make my life better. Think it'll just be a beginning of my obstacle-filled but exciting future =)

Sanity is running scarce

4 June 2012 • 10.59am • on the 733 bus back to Glenny's

The mornings went quieter than usual since he came back and . Breakfast, lunch, dinner... Silence.. In fear that if the elephant in the room were addressed, it'll inadvertently open a can of worms.. Not mentioning the inevitable streams of persistent tears.. 

Avoidance and escapism. Immature i know.. Also the least productive option on the plate. but at this very moment, I think that's what barely keeping my tear duct from going overdrive. 

Melancholy.. Doesn't even begin to illustrate what we're going through now. The anger and rage that we felt on these unfortunate occurrences ravished us.. But in the interest of preserving our sanity and not to add oil to fire that could only lead to self pity and hatred to the world.. We fell short of expressing our thoughts.. Filtering out the anguish and disappointment.. Trying our hardest to support and encourage each other.. 

This is an extreme distortion and censorship of expression.. That might be why I constantly feel like I'm swallowing back my thoughts and negativity.. And that really doesn't go down well.. It's like that big piece of meat that is going down your throat.. But got stuck in the middle.

Gosh I hate that feeling

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Unfair!!!

1 June 2012 * 11.39am * Glenny's

I'm furious!!!

It's just not fair!!!

Lit's been busting his ass off studying for that stupid ielts. Bull crap man. 9*8*8*7.5? Bull shit.

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