My Almost Accident.

Location: Computer Lab, Level 4, MU.

Says who one has to be a terrorist, lawyer, doctor, or assassin to kill someone as your career?

You can be a really awful psychiatrist, a really good actor in a awesomely good haunted movie or simply being me, driving a car.

It was on Sunday that I suddenly decided to bring ah Pi for a walk in the morning, everything went well until my second auntie ask to drop by her place and mom and dad’s nagging me to get a bus ticket earlier, incase they were all sold out, which was what happened.

Anyways, as usual, Pipi was sitting in the passenger seats until I feel so guilty asking him to come along, wait in the car for me to buy the bus ticket. I asked him to sit infront, which was so uncomfortable for him having his big butt. I tried to ‘expose’ him to the outside world, being in a car that is. And naturally, I didn’t concentrate as hard as I should be on the road, which is entirely MY fault to begin with.

Near this junction on the way to gram’s house a just went along because when I last checked there wasn’t any car at that time of day actually. Swift with a step of the pedal and a slight turn of the steering wheel followed by an unexpected LONG HARD HONK by some Malay auntie who clearly hasn’t been or driven in KL before.

I didn’t actually bang into her car or anything, just slid past her and went in front of her and she’s like so freaking out and keep honking. She stopped her car by the side of the road and I didn’t know why, I followed.

She drove and stopped at the side of my car and shouted “you celaka cina babi!! You nak matti ker? You celaka nak mati ker? Celaka cina babi!!! Celaka you cina babi”... blab blab.

Seriously, I think she’ll get this freaking high blood pressure if she EVER drives in KL. She’ll be spending every minute while she’s driving swearing and cursing others. Her husband will totally divorce her and children will be totally afraid of her and she’ll scar them for the rest of their lives.

Ok, back to that day, I was so totally shocked, that auntie made me think like I’ve killed someone or something. I clearly know that if it were a motorbike, s/he’s so gonna be paralyze or something. I came out of this incident with no one hurt is totally a miracle from god almighty, if god doesn’t exist, it’ll was sheer luck.

All I don’t get is she scolded Cina Babi. Oh, for you who don’t know what she said and I quoted about was something like “You stupid Iraqi SOB!! You fucking Moron wanna Fucking die??” in the American’s culture context.

I understand that she had her children and someone who looked like her husband or female relative or something, I wasn’t too sure. I apologized sincerely, like keep saying sorry, I made up an excuse saying I dropped my phone on the floor or something. I should pretend that I didn’t know Malay and maybe that’ll piss her off more. Or like I keep hugging my dog and scold her in English. Haha... Anyways, I still do plan to live in Malaysia in the near future so no point pissing off everyone now.

Like it’ll be any better by scolding me Chinese Pig Or maybe it was Pipi who made her angrier. I’m fully aware that if I were in the US, and I taped the whole thing down (I have my mp4 with me) I can sue her for scarring my life with vulgar words or being racist.

Ok, I’m guilty of stereotyping Malays in my country but that is what I’m trying to say here. Even if the government’s trying to brainwash us with these ‘patriotic’ songs which are meant to bring out the ‘patriotism’ in us, I truly think that only the song ‘Ogos 31’ by Sudirman meant something. Others are just wasting their breath.

All I’m saying is the pretty pretty picture that the rulers had painted for us are nothing but an illusion of a great community (Melissa Wong, 2007). Have they (the rulers) ever wondered why as their people grew up, they became less patriotic? They should do a research on this topic. It must be done by Malays because if Chinese do that, they think it’s bias or unreliable. If Malays were to do it, Chinese, Indians and “dan Lain-lain” categorize under these terms in official papers will think they’re bias. But seriously, who cares? It’s not like the latter rules the majority anyways.

Well, it’s just the way this world is programmed. I’m living on this part of the world, I should be able to deal with it like my pre-descendant did.

Breath in the insults, gathers the rebuttals, swallow it and smile.

No one cares what is in you, just as long as you don’t say or do anything, you’re fine.