Life's a Learning Process.

Time: 1:23am
Date: 10 March 2010
Location: How!5, Clayton.

totally random. When i was doing my biz in the ladies' just now, I thought to myself.

life's an endless learning process...

like then and there, I'm still learning how to do my biz knowing there's other people in the toilet right infront of my room. I have no problem number one-ing or even number two-ing in public toilet when I don't actually know the person in the next compartment, but I do have trouble "getting it done", so to speak, in the communal toilet in my halls.

I'm still learning not that instantly dislike that female Chinese customer who comes in every now and then to get my blood boiling. I don't know why. I can sympathize young momma's boy/girl, regardless of age, sex, ethnicity. I can deal with hard-headed, difficult customers who insisted that i off the fan even though there's lack of proper ventilation in the PO on the basis that I'll blow the 'diseases' from behind the counter, around the post office. Strangely enough, there were only Laiti and I behind the counter and none of us were sick. and yes, in retrospect, she might have sounded in a little racist. Luckily Toan's not there, he'll totally give her attitude. anyways, speaking of this young chinese lady who's prolly a year or two older than me... She's difficult, but not exceptionally difficult. I don't know why she just sent out the 'hate me' vibe.

I'm learning not to let trivial stuffs get the best of me. For some reasons, that Melbourne hailstorm on saturday gave me an epiphany. Why bother myself with unimportant emotional stuff that I could nothing about. Why not actually CARE about something that I can actually control... in other words, I'm learning not to waste my time on u anymore? lol. long and complication story along the lines of self-doubt and self-loathing. I am such a blonder version of elliot reid from scrubs... in the words of Toan, Ngai Tiu! --- apparently is slow pepper in vietnamese, meaning.. slow.

I'm learning to love myself more? self-criticism is healthy to a certain extent but going overboard will only send ur self-worth and self-confidence down to the deep deep sea, in search of Heart of the Ocean, as appeared in Titanic the movie. and yea, that doesn't only involve talking tough.

I'm learning to want to achieve something so much so that it hurts? haha, sounds sadistic but really... I like so many things yet nothing. hmm.. I'm still getting hang of the philosophy class that i'm taking this sem. horrible! it's supposed to be INT ok?! it's really hard to talk stuff in bioethics/ethics' discourse... mainly coz I don't know squat about it.

and ofcoz.. I need to learn to let go.

.... maybe i really should get to sleep... i'm really mentally tired, and i doubt sleep alone can do much good though.