Birthday gifts

16 June 2013 • 6.53pm • The Celtic Club Melbourne (la trobe/queen)

Lonely, I really do feel lonely, especially this time around.

It's one of the loneliest that I've been since the unfortunate birthday that everyone forgotten and dad got a pathetic CD of music that I don't care for from pasar malam.

Oh Sorry, I shan't be this harsh to my dad since he did provide and support me since the day when I was born and stuff.

Happy Father's Day to you daddy. May you always feel loved and cared for.

So the past few weeks have been pretty shit. The roommate has been throwing tantrum and bringing boys to OUR room to consummate their premarital sexual relations. I'm not quick to judge, being in the same boat and all, just that I did make it abundantly clear about me feeling uncomfortable about her bringing her newly labeled bf to OUR room. Evidently my feeling is of little importance to her.

Afterall I did TRY TO LIGHTEN HER FINANCIAL BURDEN AND ALL.

That aside, the bf not being here really took a piece of heart away. Feeling incomplete, at a dead end job, with a inconsiderate roommate, not being loved and respected in the mag,I am in fact feeling pathetic. Being in a beautiful city that I love and feeling empty is such a waste. Why can't I truly feel happy... Having a full time that I prayed and prayed for so hard same time last year.

How time can change... Why can't I be happy living in the moment.

Such a loser I am, can't even govern my feelings properly. Pathetic excuse of a human being.

Super pathetic. Always feeling depressed over stupid little things.

Why can't I be stronger and do more in my life?

Why am I always looking back to feel stupid about the decisions I make?

That's why I don't feel like celebrating my birthday. There is absolutely nothin about me that people can celebrate about me. In these 25 years, i have done nothing that I have been proud of. Never accomplished anything and cruising through life has been my strong suit.

Think I'm just gonna exist in isolation like the lotus eater later years for the rest of my life... Affect no one, harming no one with my idiotic idealism of a positively simple world.

Nothing is simple in this life apparently.



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