Location: B12.3A.3
We used to fight. About what and which Lego belongs to me, which power ranger’s character is the best, you’re pro-justice league while I like tom and jerry.
We argue about which channel to watch when we coincidentally appeared on the living room’s sofa and did the most mature thing ever – hide the remote in the most unthinkable places. I always lose. Because I let you win (hehe…)
Bro, KunMing '07.
We quarrel about whose time was it to do the laundry, whose turn to bath Ah Naught, whose turn to iron the clothes. We quarrel over who’s turn to use the pc to play games like Heroes, Settles, Theme Hospital, Red Alert etc early in the morning and not letting mommy and daddy know.
I still remember you always prefer The Allies to Soviets because you actually understood what Allies and Soviets are at that tender age. I think you actually attempted to explain to me but it took me more than 10 years later, after completed INT 1010 to know vaguely what you told me more than 10 years ago.
Bro, HK '04.
You have no idea how much I hate (coz of the really heavy workload) INT 1010 and actually enjoyed coz so many things remind me of the stuff you told me. I finally understood why you’re so addicted to WW2’s stuff (ie: the band of brothers which you watched over and over again for how many times already ah?) Haha, i feel closer to you already~
The only few times we totally agree with each other was when we ordered Pizza or other form of fast food delivery and through experience, we learnt how to hide our tracks all thanks to you. Haha, I’d never come up with such ingenious plan to throw the rubbish in the ditch opposite our house that mom and dad will never check (opps, if mom's reading this...)
Bro, ME + xiao Chen, HK '04.
That was the time we worked out a schedule to keep both sides happy when mom and dad was out of town for a couple of days, when you still haven’t get your over ‘publicized’ genuine ‘P’ license without the help of Duit Kopi, when I was just exposed to Mirc. We came up with this 12/12 hour routine. We took turns to feed the idiot box for 12 hours and fully utilize the Pentium 2 with the other 12 for 3 days straight.
Bro & Mom, HK trip '04.
It's unthankful of me if I didn't mention this. If not for you, I wouldn't be able to drive as good as I do now~~ I wanted EAGERLY to know how to drive because i envy the freedom you have knowing how to operate the four-wheeled vehicle and because you know how to drive well. I know I always mention stuff like guys having the natural instinct of driving. You're not bad la, but not sure how much better (or worse) if comparing your skills to other guys.
And for the record, GUYS ARE insticntly better in these stuff, like they do in video games and sports. It's like their thing.
It was you who initially had the courage to sit beside me while i drive around the road in front of our house and not totally freak out. Well, maybe you DID occasionally freak out a bit when I took a slight swirl to the right then left, near the Malays boys chatting outside of the cyber cafe.
Bro, HK '04.
But don't know since when he turned into a 75++kg BIG yellow feathered CHICKEN and stopped having the courage to sit in the front passenger seat to see me drive anymore.
Oh, just in case you didn’t know, I’m not sure whether Jason Chong or William Cheah told me that you (I was about 11 y/o or something) gave them the ‘leave my sister alone’ speech when I chatted with them on ICQ. Haha… I was totally surprised and touched by the fact that you gave your closest friends The Speech to protect me from harm’s way, to protect the innocent and naïve me from the dark dark world~
Bro & Mom, Sunway Pyramid, Mother's Day 2006.
Then there was a time that mom and dad came up with this word game (Mandarin = chuan zhu lian). The first person will start the first word and the next will make a new word by taking the last alphabet of the first word and this game goes on and on and on and on.
Bro, S.Korea, 2004.
Frankly I didn’t know exactly when everyone grew bored of this game. I still can recall the last time I tried to initiate this game during a trip from Teluk Intan back to Ipoh (because I was actually exposed to '-ing', ‘-isations’ and ‘-ises’, I was so confident with the short string of vocabulary I had) I was rained with boo-s then continued by crackles of laughter almost in unison.
You guys grew up and grew out of that game without notifying me. I was actually kind of mad at that time.
Taken by Bro, KunMing, 2007.
There’s this culture still being practiced now without objections though. Usually at the beginning of the trip, dad will put some really really REALLY boring Chinese oldies (during WW1) the era before frank Sinatra where they view the slow slow SLOW songs as art, when Beatles wasn’t born yet.
Ok, maybe I exaggerated a bit. Frankly, the songs are stronger than valium. If you cannot sleep, please listen to Lee Xiang Lang, Ker Lan’s song. I still remember the Ah Chiu aka sneezing aka kazuhai song. Just in case you're totally lost, it’s Chinese classic I’m talking about here...
The Tan Family, Recognition Night 2007.
But whenever dad put Beatles’ “Rock n Roll” songs we’ll start to sing, as if being hypnotized. We'll start to wake up and our subconscious mind will make us sing. We’ll sing, even till now, we still sing to Beatles’ songs although dad’s upgraded from using cassette tapes to cds.
The Moral value behind this incident is "Never Underestimate Classic Rock and Roll" I tell you...
Have I ever told you that every time I spend time with you at home, I learn something new? There was the time we learnt what 'neslo' is from your very exposed college mates when I was form 3... Then there was the time that you introduced Hard Gay Ramen into the family. I'm surprised that Mom and Dad didn't flip out and disown you on the spot. Mom gave me the stare when I showed her the 'Negaraku-ku", a very original song by Namewee, which meant 'his version of Negaraku' by the way...
Dad, Bro and Mom, South Korea '04.
What’s so different between you and I is that you actively use your brain and I take for granted being the youngest in the family before Pipi came into the picture. Everything that needs to be sorted out has already been thought of by everyone anyway. Maybe because of that I'll never be taken seriously, even till date.
Dad's Birthday, at home 2007.
Do you remember the first time you came to Sunway to study?
The opposite of love is not Hate, its Indifference. That’s what I felt back then.
You were so indifferent and totally seemed like you don’t care if I'd tag along or not. I was so pissed that you didn’t ASK. It’s like you don’t care, don’t need me to be there for/with you. I know I did that intentionally that day to avoid going to Sunway to witness this milestone of yours because I thought spending the whole day alone in the house playing computer games and watching TV would be more satisfying. Boy I was wrong.
Family Pic again, 2004 or 2005.
I spent the whole day regretting it. When you guys took off, I was behind the stairs watching you guys leave when you guys thought I was sleeping. You know, mom and dad were/are so proud of you staying alone outside being independent and all and she talked about it to grandma, her bro and sis and almost all her friends who mentioned, especially when Auntie Mrs Cheow was still around. I feel like an instant failure when they talked for what seemed like hours about you and Kai Jian.
Family SnapShot, South Korea '04.
When you were out of the house, sure, I have no one to fight with to use the pc, no one to side me when mom and I was arguing about some dumb ass tv series’ plot. Seriously, I got so out of touch with the world progress of computer games because I have no insiders to bring back the selected games for me to play. No one to brag about what heroic act I did in school. No one to have a pre-debate with to size up my confidence level, No one to pull me back to reality when I got so bitchy and bratty without resulting in the increase hatred towards mom and dad.
And I can predict that mom and dad will be totally on my back without you around to watch over me.
Dad & Bro, S.Korea, 2004.
I didn’t even thought we were that close until you left Ipoh. I realized that because we developed this symbiosis thingy. Though you’ve been a pain in my butt and a total eye sore to me for the past 15 years of my life, I missed you when you were not around, in a positive light actually.
Bro, Shen Zhen, China, 2004.
Bro + Me, KunMing, 2007.
The relationship between dad and I totally went lower down the ditch. I always have this feeling that you’re the only one that can talk to dad about these old cowboy films that he likes, old Chinese songs that I don’t have the slightest interest nor idea about, you guys talked about business stuff that I don’t know or understand to care. Hell you even taught dad how to browse for 'tarzan' on Internet for the first time.
Maybe this feeling is mutual, other than asking me how’s school; other than me telling how active I was in school curriculum, I don’t know what and how to communicate to him and vice versa. I used to think it’s a guy thing but actually it’s my problem coz I have friends who are really close to their fathers too. I have a feeling after you left for UK, the same situation will replay itself again soon when they come to visit me every fortnight. The odd, cold atmosphere vibrating as we dine...
Opening Ceremony of the shop, umpteen years ago.
You still remember the time I was really down for losing a debate or something I can’t really remember, during my secondary school period that’s all I know. I was really depressed and all, you did something so simple yet so touching and appropriate at that moment that you made me cry even harder.
You knocked at my toilet door and came into my room holding a guitar. At that time we don’t have such nice and high beds; I still prefer the tilam we used to have last time though. Anyways, you just sat on the floor and started strumming on the guitar and sang. I kinda forgot what songs you sang, I'm pretty sure one of the songs were Belaian Jiwa, but at that particular moment, I remembered that I laughed and cried at the same time. I was all disgusting, with mucus mixed with tears plus saliva... ERK... Simply disgusting. But when I see you dumb-dumb-ishly playing the guitar while singing on the floor, I laughed.
The Chin Family Pic, many years ago.
Maybe it’s your boyish charm. You have a way with people. You know, I’m always jealous of your girl friends (not the intimate kind). You’re always that charming, pleasant, and most of all, you treat them (girl friends) like you really meant peace. We always fight. So much so that I really felt like it’s better to be your friend by keeping a distance from you, than try to be close to you as your sister. I mean I’m your only sister right? I may be annoying and shit. I took the initiative to know your friends; I took the initiative to listen to English songs during your craze.
The thing is that you don’t talk to me. You talk to mom. You talk to your friends. You don’t talk to me. The time that I finally felt the watershed was when I came to Taylor’s last year. You have no idea how happy I was when you talked to me. I finally felt like your little sister. When you brought me to places to try new edible stuff, I really felt like I’m finally your sister again.
Tan Family Pic, 2005.
You told me maybe as a joke that I took seriously after all this time. Last year when I first came to Subang after I told you the incident Ash and I met with in the park-like place you promised me that you’ll “do your best to cover for me if I ever screw up”.
Now that I finally came to study in Sunway, you’re leaving for UK in 5 day’s time. It’s like primary school all over again. I was so proud to have a brother who’s standard 4, it’s like I have my big brother to lean on. When I finally finished my primary school education, the main underlying reason that I didn’t wanna leave SMJK Yuk Choy is not only because there are “many food to choose from”; the main motivation of joining the student reporter thingy is not because I'm that crazy to be a journalist; the main reason I joined guide was, for many reasons, one of them was because you were a scout. I wanted so desperately to have something in common with you to get closer to you.
I can’t help but feel that it’s my fault that we are not close. I have this thing of pushing people away right? Being really direct, sometimes not being direct enough. All in all, my people skills suck.
After you go to UK, for a freaking year, who will protect me? What if I screwed up? Who will be there to cover my sorry ass? I’m damn selfish I know, but one of the reasons of not going to Australia at the beginning of the course is not just because it’s damn expensive but I’m actually scared. It's damn freaking far away from home ok? I’ll be all alone there... I didn’t even have a blink of doubt when I come to Taylor’s because I know that you’re here.
You’ll always be my big brother. And I did immediately called you when I reached Mei Geng that day the tire got punctured. I didn’t know that you actually cared that much because I didn’t notify you first. You care... Hehe…
Family Pic, PWTC, 2004.
Oh, btw, I heard about a research saying that what women’s relationship with her future companion(s) are actually a reflection of the relationships she has/had with the male influences around her. So for my future sake, better mend this relationship I have with you cause you're one of the few male influences I have around me.
Bro, Sunway, 2006.Male influences.
You don’t want me to end up being an old lonely hag staying alone in our present house with many many dogs right?
Right?!
p/s: nothing spells LOVE more than putting pictures that I don't AT THE LEAST look goood in but since you looked good in most of them, I put them up anyway. See, I have to love you this much to do this...
We argue about which channel to watch when we coincidentally appeared on the living room’s sofa and did the most mature thing ever – hide the remote in the most unthinkable places. I always lose. Because I let you win (hehe…)
Bro, KunMing '07.We quarrel about whose time was it to do the laundry, whose turn to bath Ah Naught, whose turn to iron the clothes. We quarrel over who’s turn to use the pc to play games like Heroes, Settles, Theme Hospital, Red Alert etc early in the morning and not letting mommy and daddy know.
I still remember you always prefer The Allies to Soviets because you actually understood what Allies and Soviets are at that tender age. I think you actually attempted to explain to me but it took me more than 10 years later, after completed INT 1010 to know vaguely what you told me more than 10 years ago.
Bro, HK '04.You have no idea how much I hate (coz of the really heavy workload) INT 1010 and actually enjoyed coz so many things remind me of the stuff you told me. I finally understood why you’re so addicted to WW2’s stuff (ie: the band of brothers which you watched over and over again for how many times already ah?) Haha, i feel closer to you already~
The only few times we totally agree with each other was when we ordered Pizza or other form of fast food delivery and through experience, we learnt how to hide our tracks all thanks to you. Haha, I’d never come up with such ingenious plan to throw the rubbish in the ditch opposite our house that mom and dad will never check (opps, if mom's reading this...)
Bro, ME + xiao Chen, HK '04.That was the time we worked out a schedule to keep both sides happy when mom and dad was out of town for a couple of days, when you still haven’t get your over ‘publicized’ genuine ‘P’ license without the help of Duit Kopi, when I was just exposed to Mirc. We came up with this 12/12 hour routine. We took turns to feed the idiot box for 12 hours and fully utilize the Pentium 2 with the other 12 for 3 days straight.
Bro & Mom, HK trip '04. It's unthankful of me if I didn't mention this. If not for you, I wouldn't be able to drive as good as I do now~~ I wanted EAGERLY to know how to drive because i envy the freedom you have knowing how to operate the four-wheeled vehicle and because you know how to drive well. I know I always mention stuff like guys having the natural instinct of driving. You're not bad la, but not sure how much better (or worse) if comparing your skills to other guys.
And for the record, GUYS ARE insticntly better in these stuff, like they do in video games and sports. It's like their thing.
It was you who initially had the courage to sit beside me while i drive around the road in front of our house and not totally freak out. Well, maybe you DID occasionally freak out a bit when I took a slight swirl to the right then left, near the Malays boys chatting outside of the cyber cafe.
Bro, HK '04.But don't know since when he turned into a 75++kg BIG yellow feathered CHICKEN and stopped having the courage to sit in the front passenger seat to see me drive anymore.
Oh, just in case you didn’t know, I’m not sure whether Jason Chong or William Cheah told me that you (I was about 11 y/o or something) gave them the ‘leave my sister alone’ speech when I chatted with them on ICQ. Haha… I was totally surprised and touched by the fact that you gave your closest friends The Speech to protect me from harm’s way, to protect the innocent and naïve me from the dark dark world~
Bro & Mom, Sunway Pyramid, Mother's Day 2006.Then there was a time that mom and dad came up with this word game (Mandarin = chuan zhu lian). The first person will start the first word and the next will make a new word by taking the last alphabet of the first word and this game goes on and on and on and on.
Bro, S.Korea, 2004.Frankly I didn’t know exactly when everyone grew bored of this game. I still can recall the last time I tried to initiate this game during a trip from Teluk Intan back to Ipoh (because I was actually exposed to '-ing', ‘-isations’ and ‘-ises’, I was so confident with the short string of vocabulary I had) I was rained with boo-s then continued by crackles of laughter almost in unison.
You guys grew up and grew out of that game without notifying me. I was actually kind of mad at that time.
Taken by Bro, KunMing, 2007.Ok, maybe I exaggerated a bit. Frankly, the songs are stronger than valium. If you cannot sleep, please listen to Lee Xiang Lang, Ker Lan’s song. I still remember the Ah Chiu aka sneezing aka kazuhai song. Just in case you're totally lost, it’s Chinese classic I’m talking about here...
The Tan Family, Recognition Night 2007.But whenever dad put Beatles’ “Rock n Roll” songs we’ll start to sing, as if being hypnotized. We'll start to wake up and our subconscious mind will make us sing. We’ll sing, even till now, we still sing to Beatles’ songs although dad’s upgraded from using cassette tapes to cds.
The Moral value behind this incident is "Never Underestimate Classic Rock and Roll" I tell you...
Have I ever told you that every time I spend time with you at home, I learn something new? There was the time we learnt what 'neslo' is from your very exposed college mates when I was form 3... Then there was the time that you introduced Hard Gay Ramen into the family. I'm surprised that Mom and Dad didn't flip out and disown you on the spot. Mom gave me the stare when I showed her the 'Negaraku-ku", a very original song by Namewee, which meant 'his version of Negaraku' by the way...
Dad, Bro and Mom, South Korea '04.
What’s so different between you and I is that you actively use your brain and I take for granted being the youngest in the family before Pipi came into the picture. Everything that needs to be sorted out has already been thought of by everyone anyway. Maybe because of that I'll never be taken seriously, even till date.
Dad's Birthday, at home 2007.Do you remember the first time you came to Sunway to study?
The opposite of love is not Hate, its Indifference. That’s what I felt back then.
You were so indifferent and totally seemed like you don’t care if I'd tag along or not. I was so pissed that you didn’t ASK. It’s like you don’t care, don’t need me to be there for/with you. I know I did that intentionally that day to avoid going to Sunway to witness this milestone of yours because I thought spending the whole day alone in the house playing computer games and watching TV would be more satisfying. Boy I was wrong.
Family Pic again, 2004 or 2005.
Family SnapShot, South Korea '04.When you were out of the house, sure, I have no one to fight with to use the pc, no one to side me when mom and I was arguing about some dumb ass tv series’ plot. Seriously, I got so out of touch with the world progress of computer games because I have no insiders to bring back the selected games for me to play. No one to brag about what heroic act I did in school. No one to have a pre-debate with to size up my confidence level, No one to pull me back to reality when I got so bitchy and bratty without resulting in the increase hatred towards mom and dad.
And I can predict that mom and dad will be totally on my back without you around to watch over me.
Dad & Bro, S.Korea, 2004.
Bro, Shen Zhen, China, 2004.Actually, when you left right, mom and I got closer in a way but distanced at the same time. Closer as in I’m mom’s only shopping buddy during the weekends and sometimes weekdays after school. It seems like all we do is shop other than her business, with dad and badminton at that time. Other than shopping time, we usually eat our tapao-ed meals in front of the tv, like we all usually do, just that mom and I normally don’t speak that much, unless I was in a hyper happy mood. And I have no idea why every little critic she gave me will end up with blood pressure shooting off the roof for her, teary-eyes and broken heart for me.
Bro + Me, KunMing, 2007.Maybe this feeling is mutual, other than asking me how’s school; other than me telling how active I was in school curriculum, I don’t know what and how to communicate to him and vice versa. I used to think it’s a guy thing but actually it’s my problem coz I have friends who are really close to their fathers too. I have a feeling after you left for UK, the same situation will replay itself again soon when they come to visit me every fortnight. The odd, cold atmosphere vibrating as we dine...
Opening Ceremony of the shop, umpteen years ago.You still remember the time I was really down for losing a debate or something I can’t really remember, during my secondary school period that’s all I know. I was really depressed and all, you did something so simple yet so touching and appropriate at that moment that you made me cry even harder.
You knocked at my toilet door and came into my room holding a guitar. At that time we don’t have such nice and high beds; I still prefer the tilam we used to have last time though. Anyways, you just sat on the floor and started strumming on the guitar and sang. I kinda forgot what songs you sang, I'm pretty sure one of the songs were Belaian Jiwa, but at that particular moment, I remembered that I laughed and cried at the same time. I was all disgusting, with mucus mixed with tears plus saliva... ERK... Simply disgusting. But when I see you dumb-dumb-ishly playing the guitar while singing on the floor, I laughed.
The Chin Family Pic, many years ago.Maybe it’s your boyish charm. You have a way with people. You know, I’m always jealous of your girl friends (not the intimate kind). You’re always that charming, pleasant, and most of all, you treat them (girl friends) like you really meant peace. We always fight. So much so that I really felt like it’s better to be your friend by keeping a distance from you, than try to be close to you as your sister. I mean I’m your only sister right? I may be annoying and shit. I took the initiative to know your friends; I took the initiative to listen to English songs during your craze.
The thing is that you don’t talk to me. You talk to mom. You talk to your friends. You don’t talk to me. The time that I finally felt the watershed was when I came to Taylor’s last year. You have no idea how happy I was when you talked to me. I finally felt like your little sister. When you brought me to places to try new edible stuff, I really felt like I’m finally your sister again.
Tan Family Pic, 2005.You told me maybe as a joke that I took seriously after all this time. Last year when I first came to Subang after I told you the incident Ash and I met with in the park-like place you promised me that you’ll “do your best to cover for me if I ever screw up”.
Now that I finally came to study in Sunway, you’re leaving for UK in 5 day’s time. It’s like primary school all over again. I was so proud to have a brother who’s standard 4, it’s like I have my big brother to lean on. When I finally finished my primary school education, the main underlying reason that I didn’t wanna leave SMJK Yuk Choy is not only because there are “many food to choose from”; the main motivation of joining the student reporter thingy is not because I'm that crazy to be a journalist; the main reason I joined guide was, for many reasons, one of them was because you were a scout. I wanted so desperately to have something in common with you to get closer to you.
I can’t help but feel that it’s my fault that we are not close. I have this thing of pushing people away right? Being really direct, sometimes not being direct enough. All in all, my people skills suck.
After you go to UK, for a freaking year, who will protect me? What if I screwed up? Who will be there to cover my sorry ass? I’m damn selfish I know, but one of the reasons of not going to Australia at the beginning of the course is not just because it’s damn expensive but I’m actually scared. It's damn freaking far away from home ok? I’ll be all alone there... I didn’t even have a blink of doubt when I come to Taylor’s because I know that you’re here.
You’ll always be my big brother. And I did immediately called you when I reached Mei Geng that day the tire got punctured. I didn’t know that you actually cared that much because I didn’t notify you first. You care... Hehe…
Family Pic, PWTC, 2004.Oh, btw, I heard about a research saying that what women’s relationship with her future companion(s) are actually a reflection of the relationships she has/had with the male influences around her. So for my future sake, better mend this relationship I have with you cause you're one of the few male influences I have around me.
Bro, Sunway, 2006.
You don’t want me to end up being an old lonely hag staying alone in our present house with many many dogs right?
Right?!
p/s: nothing spells LOVE more than putting pictures that I don't AT THE LEAST look goood in but since you looked good in most of them, I put them up anyway. See, I have to love you this much to do this...
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