Peacefulness, is it such a bad thing?

29 March 2012 . Our Quarters in Glenny. 5.34am.


So this is what it takes to make an instant gratification seeking 24 year old with an attention span of a gold fish and a memory of Dory from Finding Nemo (which is extremely misleading because for a long time I thought that was the Dory Fish that we enjoy oh so much) to sit down with minimal distraction and start her long awaited introspection.


It's almost 6 in the morning, here I am, sitting in a dark room, staring at the dimly-lit computer screen with a cup of Nestum with Milo and Coffee, awake. This was a frequent occurrence back in the day in Sun-U Residence and I would not hesitate to reach for the phone to enlist the services of Jaafar Mamak or the awesomely De-lish spicy chicken from McD. If Cynthia was not around, I would open the glass door to look out to the then deserted mining pool which came to be known as Taylor's Lakeside Campus while unsuspecting and rare vehicles zoomed through the road leading towards Monash & Sunway Campuses, where shadows of trees and buildings come to play.


Fast forward to Howitt. Gosh I really liked that place. A place to myself, a really cushy bed, 24 hours heater (especially handy during winter), friends within arms' reach (not literally), kept me nice and safe.. not unlike a bomb shelter that shielded me from the harsh realities of real life... what's not to like? I really felt like a protected princess up in my 5th floor castle where I have to exit the vicinity through the woods by the lake. Such happy times. I have endless source of entertainment from the prolific DC++ artists. For deeper contemplation and getting in touch with my higher consciousness, there's the study overlooking the short Deakin Hall, next to the basketball court. I still remember the once pungent carpet smell that slowly grew to become the smell of Howitt, the smell of home.

One thing led to another, the chapter led me, us, to Marshyland. It was a time of extremities. So 4 of us decided that we could live with each other for the next 12 months.. and such joyous times we had. Uni pretty much kept us occupied most of the time but we didn't mind each other's company. At times, interesting experimental culinary boundaries were exceeded and records of goals were broken. Literally goals from PES that the boys were so obsessed with and which I did not feel captivated enough to partake. Marshyland was a commonplace for the other friends to drop by, hang out, get drunk and pass out. There's a certain sense of community where sleepless nights entails defrosting leftover pizzas, cans of mother and strategically located potato chips (inside joke =p) over similarly dark room with the occasional knocks on the door when he was either worried or bored and wanted to check up on me... He would normally come in and sit down in the corner to observe and trying hard not to interfere while I floundered on dry land, drown in my own misdoings and desperately gasping for air.


So I guess the good lord decided I was not horrible enough to send Armageddon and utter annihilation my way.. The outcome in December 2011 was hanging precariously on a line, above the fence separating sold ground from an abyss of hell fire where my life could have spun out of control; where I haven't had the courage to look into when July 2011 hits me. I was not extremely proud of what went down in the past 2 years but there is certainly pride of a war veteran. Despite all that was said and done, I am truly glad and thankful that I got where I am now. I have such supporting people around me, a really caring boy whom I care just as much about. The boy who is tugged in cosily under blankee 1 and 3, the boy who was the inspiration for this dark room at this ungodly time. 


Even though the quarter in Glenny is a stark difference to my castle in MRS and observation tower in Sunway.... although it does not serve as a drive by nor free car park for our peers... It is like our private little hideout where I come back from BusyBee 5-6 days a week to disappear to, with you =)  It is not just because of the sofa made of cotton candy that one melt into while watching the 49" screen of awesome clarity... It is you that made this transitional period bearable. Well at least I hope it's transitional and not permanent. 


3 minutes past 7am. The past hour and a half crept by with the jazzy vocals of Lana Del Ray's Pawn Shop Blues on repeat. Who cares who she was or that she was plastic on SNL's performance. I do like her most of the songs on Born to Die even though this country jazzy song has been on the replay for a while now and I'm still not bored of it.


At this point, I really don't know what the future holds. Frankly, I'm really terrified of where I could end up in 5 years. The sanguine feeling I have now seems to stem from the fundamentally complacent situation. Still fresh from the afterglow of graduation, showing up at my closing on to 3 years' part time job as a main source of income and coming home to a loving, albeit worrisome boy who is troubled over his lack of luck in the 3 months long job-search and his frustrating 0.5 points from a perfect quadruple 8s on the unfortunate IELTS test for the second time. To make matters worse, the consumption of my first attempt in making almond and berry biscotti on Monday left him with a nagging sore jaw in the past few days. Maybe my self-destructive tendencies swayed to target him instead.  


Poor, sweet boy he is. 


Well, I guess this turned out to be a rather romantic and nostalgic entry instead of an introspective attempt to unravel the bundle of crazy that is me. it's 7.19am... I was supposed to get up at 7.35am to catch a bus to Clayton Rd for some freelance thing. lol. First assignment and I really can't wait to see the nuts and bolts of a well-oiled bank. They requested that I look professional... so i guess t-shirt and jeans do not make the cut. It's not a highly paid task but I am not complaining about this one-off additional pocket money in the mean time =)