Paddle!!!

Time: 12:48am
Date: 29 March, 2010.
Location: How!5, Clayton.

in over my head or a beautiful wave to catch?

It's a matter of sinking or swimming... guess we'll find out!

** special thanks to my awesome neighbour who lent me his precious camera for the trip so that I can take awesome pics for my other friends to see and drool all over their keyboards... **

Skippppy in Grampy!

Time: 10:41am
Date: 23 March 2010
Location: Computer Lab, Campus Centre, Clayton.

hmm, updates.

The Carnage was totally AWESOME! maybe my body just couldn't sustain the constant sleep deprivation and forced me to sleep a whole lot in the Grampians. Sarah and Audrey were totally awesome bunk buddies... went rock climbing.. bush walking in Mount Hollow and Mount Zero. Though jia yeng, pei chin, leng seng and I did go to Gramps in January but it was an entirely different experience, I met many friendly nature-loving people there... and REALLY hardcore thrill seekers man... Got some bruises as souviners as usual, accident prone me... We stayed in Old Smith Road campsite last time but stayed in Stapylton Campsite this time. We were woken up by kangaroos in the middle of the night!! how COOL was THAT?!

anyways, yea, I gave a shot again, final shot actually in trying to get into MUISS and it paid off. Today's the first AGM, i think. we'll wait and see how it goes... hope I can learn something out of the experience =)

Anyhoo, I read this email this friend sent about the 'malay origins'... was *wow* to say the least. SO, orang Melayu are people who ranaway? don't really know how true is it but... according to JS Mill's On Liberty, Freedom of Speech is a fundamental human right. hence, I turned to my nexe very reliable source.. wiki.

Read this...

One Straits Chinese leader asked, "Who said this is a Malay country? ... When Captain [Francis] Light arrived, did he find Malays, or Malay villages? Our forefathers came here and worked hard as coolies — weren't ashamed to become coolies — and they didn't send their money back to China. They married and spent their money here, and in this way the Government was able to open up the country from jungle to civilization. We've become inseparable from this country. It's ours, our country..." Malay intellectuals objected to this reasoning, claiming that such reasoning is totally absurd and proposing an analogy with the Chinese as masons and Malaya as a house.

replace the word Chinese with immigrants, and the word Malay with slightly earlier immigrants, it could be anywhere in the world. It's like the same tune over and over again... What do people actually learn from history?

Gramps... the sequel!!!

Time: 4:03pm.
Date: 18 March, 2010.
Location: How!5, Clayton.

OMGGGGGGG, so excited about the Carnage thing!!! lol.. I just wanna go to the top of the hill and SCREEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM... hahaha. sounds fun eh?

hmmm, what's on next week. Presentation on the Week 4 thingy on thurs' tute, M.Club gig on Thurs 4:30 - 11:30pm, Mitch, Rashaam's house warming =) feels like I'm getting a keg for the first time... lol.

*edited 6:42pm*

dont think i'll make the cut. lol~ too much lipid to cut. ishhhh...

Just a thought.

Time: 10:17am
Date: 16 March 2010
Location: How!5, Clayton.

Though I don't hate it, feels like BBC's style of reporting's gearing towards sensationalization. Certain graphics or dramatic effects are welcome but really couldn't imagine BBC's way of reporting becoming as distasteful as ACA (A Current Affair's)...

anyways, spontaneous floor outing to Sofia's yday night made me realize... I LURVE THE MARS BAR cake in Sofia's~ ok, it is insanely rich and virtually impossible to down it in one serving, or 2 for that matter... but... it's just THAT good... omg omg omg... *salivating*

* This pic will stand in for the real thing, until I stop procrastinating & start editing the pics...*

Grace's day.

Time: 11:28pm
Date: 12 March, 2010.
Location: How!5, Clayton.

today's been a icky day. screwed up a lot in post office... the people in PO didn't help either. cari pasal only!! this jewish russian... OMGGG, totally bullied us girls. luckily she met Woon and not Toan, if not there's gona be a fight... then finally had a shift in MClub with the infamous Adam but yea.. i don't agree the way he does things but he's a marshmellow with a tough choc coating. i still think u actually need to tell ur subords in order for them to understand u lor... but he's pretty sweet to walk me to get the bike to cycle home.

been working really hard lately... around 12 hours today... plus was sick. so... yup. not a good combo. think i trying to drown the endless thooughtssssss running through my head... hahahaha. farny. running nose. cough. headache. sorethroat. ouch. incoherent thoughts. really should start on assignment. stay tough woman!

p/s: happy bday graciaaaa~ i'm really sorry but am really tired tonight... just know I lurve u but I know someone else out there will love u more~ and no, not only talking about that brazillian wannabe =p

Life's a Learning Process.

Time: 1:23am
Date: 10 March 2010
Location: How!5, Clayton.

totally random. When i was doing my biz in the ladies' just now, I thought to myself.

life's an endless learning process...

like then and there, I'm still learning how to do my biz knowing there's other people in the toilet right infront of my room. I have no problem number one-ing or even number two-ing in public toilet when I don't actually know the person in the next compartment, but I do have trouble "getting it done", so to speak, in the communal toilet in my halls.

I'm still learning not that instantly dislike that female Chinese customer who comes in every now and then to get my blood boiling. I don't know why. I can sympathize young momma's boy/girl, regardless of age, sex, ethnicity. I can deal with hard-headed, difficult customers who insisted that i off the fan even though there's lack of proper ventilation in the PO on the basis that I'll blow the 'diseases' from behind the counter, around the post office. Strangely enough, there were only Laiti and I behind the counter and none of us were sick. and yes, in retrospect, she might have sounded in a little racist. Luckily Toan's not there, he'll totally give her attitude. anyways, speaking of this young chinese lady who's prolly a year or two older than me... She's difficult, but not exceptionally difficult. I don't know why she just sent out the 'hate me' vibe.

I'm learning not to let trivial stuffs get the best of me. For some reasons, that Melbourne hailstorm on saturday gave me an epiphany. Why bother myself with unimportant emotional stuff that I could nothing about. Why not actually CARE about something that I can actually control... in other words, I'm learning not to waste my time on u anymore? lol. long and complication story along the lines of self-doubt and self-loathing. I am such a blonder version of elliot reid from scrubs... in the words of Toan, Ngai Tiu! --- apparently is slow pepper in vietnamese, meaning.. slow.

I'm learning to love myself more? self-criticism is healthy to a certain extent but going overboard will only send ur self-worth and self-confidence down to the deep deep sea, in search of Heart of the Ocean, as appeared in Titanic the movie. and yea, that doesn't only involve talking tough.

I'm learning to want to achieve something so much so that it hurts? haha, sounds sadistic but really... I like so many things yet nothing. hmm.. I'm still getting hang of the philosophy class that i'm taking this sem. horrible! it's supposed to be INT ok?! it's really hard to talk stuff in bioethics/ethics' discourse... mainly coz I don't know squat about it.

and ofcoz.. I need to learn to let go.

.... maybe i really should get to sleep... i'm really mentally tired, and i doubt sleep alone can do much good though.

Internet access = human right

Time: 8:29am
Date: 9 March 2010
Location: How!5, Clayton.

Something came up in BBC that interested me today.

Is internet access is a 'human right'?

I think it's more or less related to the freedom of information and freedom of speech seeing that those are intrinsic rights for people. Yes, internet access has the potential to provide a democratic platform for a convergence of ideas but unfortunately, digital divide between nations made it slightly hard for poorer countries to catch up with the times. Countries like China and Thailand who imposed censorship on the internet... Are the people, then, denied of their rights?

all in all, is the importance of internet access be equated as human right to freedom of expression?

Wish List.

Time: 11:42pm.
Date: 3 March, 2010.
Location: How!5, Clayton.

... is it too much that I ask for a crutch for christmas?

really hate the feeling in my guts whenever the flashbacks sneak in.

it is bitter indeed.

on another note,

MARK MY WORDS, I AM GONA NAIL THIS UNIT!!!!

RWAR!!!

First Times.

Time: 9:10pm.
Date: 25 Feb 2010.
Location: How!5, Clayton =)

so many first happened.

I worked in Monash Club for the first time.

Got my first pay check from Monash Club.

Forgot to write down the shift I worked for the first time.

Hence Monash Club didn't pay me for the first time. In other words, free labour for Monash Club for 2 hours, for the first time. Swt, I know.

Became a returning resident for the first time.

Moved back to Howitt, for the first and last time, I think.

and yea, did I mention that I acknowledge that the sharp stabs of pain in my stomach, was gastric pain... for the first time?

I'm gona live my choices next week for the first time too... let's hope I can make the most of it.

anyways, weird things has been happening. Felt like it's open season on Jun lately... Don't know if it's a good thing.

I'm...speechless.

Time: 1.19am
Date: 19 Feb 2010
Location: 256 Evelyn Street.

I think I can see what I'm destined to have.... What's on the plate for me... for this aspect. like... WTH... so the pathetic wei... GEEEEEZ.

no more pictures =(

Time: 6.29am.
Date: 17 Feb 2010.
Location: Evelyn St, Clayton.

So dad's not gona exchange my spoilt camera with his.

hate to sound like a spoilt brat but really, I... rely too much on my camera to capture the moments of my life... it's like the only thing I've got to freeze frame my life. Not having a camera around is like not having a MP3/4 in gym... it's a little unnatural.

well, since this year's ammendment/redemption year, it's just another penny in the disappointment jar, no biggy. I really think by the end of this year, there'd be like a gazillion jars.

anyways, had my first day in Monash Club. It's pretty ok, compared to Monash Palace... actually, anything is better than Monash Palace. It's not about the workload, it's more of the people working there. less drama, less pressure...

no one's undermining anyone. Wait, that's not entirely true but the people there are friendly enough to put on a smiling face and not push you around too much.

This is literally the first time I'm working with aussies. It's not so different actually... everyone's a character of its own. There's Jeanine, who's engaged (or so I heard), Teena and Frank who tend the bars, there's Mirenda and Kishenda (erm, think I might have gotten their names wrong), Trever, James, Dana (this really lanky lady chef... who looked oddly enigmatic to me.)... lol. I can imagine why Iggy liked working there, apart of their awesomely REASONABLE wages.

and did I mention... constant saliva-stimulating FREE FOOD?

lol... like literally. Maybe it's a little too early to say but generally, people in restaurants here don't really give shit to the people running the restaurant, which was quite a shock to me really.

anyways, back to work. figuratively speaking... =)

omg, I can't say that for long...

Happy CNY =)

Time: 7:33pm.
Date: 15 Feb 2010.
Location: Evelyn Street, Clayton.

hmm, yesterday was a really emotional day... for various reasons. I did wear cheongsam on the day of chinese new year alright.. but instead of being at home with my family, I spent the last few hours in Monash Palace.

no point getting emotional actually. this is what I've chosen, so be it... remember your goals gal.

one. more. year.

a very important year indeed.

Anyways, from our awkward porn night to our awesome lou sang, glad to have spent it with u buncha awesome people.

Akmal, the actual host of this CNY eve get-together, made Nasi Lemak... lol... he's suddenly SO malay =p Jia Yeng prepared Lou Sang, Vegetable and Lin Zi Tong Sui (that's the reason why I ignored your reply, Richard). Tai cooked fish! what's a reunion dinner w/o fish, man... Zax made Kapitan Curry Chicken, Sarah brought Melon Sago + coconut milk. and yea, she cooked. lol. Pey Chin cooked... well, she cooked everything. She helped out during the whole cooking chaos. I made Chicken Stir fry with Lee Kum Kee sauce and fried Nian Gao =) All in all.. Everyone played along wonderfully...

so... to all you peeps out there, have a great chinese new year. hope you'll appreciate what u've got. I certain did, more than ever =)

*edited* and yea, forgot that I made stir-fry dong fun too.

gosh, woman.

Time: 1:06
Date: 12 February, 2010.
Location: 256, Evelyn st, clayton.

Loneliness. lol. cliche I know but how can I be feeling lonely surrounded by a group of interesting people?

There are so many things I feel the need to say to express how I feel but surprise, surprise... words seeem to fail me time and again. well, rather. I seem to fail it time and again...

Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's the same routine I'm going through over and over again, everyday. Maybe it's my fear of changing but my reluctance of being stuck at the same place in time which I deem to be inadequate.

Maybe i'm retreating into myself again. I feel so angry at some people for no apparent reason. Good People will get hurt if I'm not careful with my expression. Totally feel like a ironic loony. I feel so unchallenged!!! hence the dissatisfaction?

You know what I wanna do?

I wanna go to an all you can eat buffet, get stuffed and vomit my guts out.

I wanna to go a freaking rock concert alone to listen to songs that I havent heard of and scream my guts out.

I wanna cry on someone's shoulder like nobody's business for no apparent reason...

I wanna feel good about myself, for once. havent been feeling much of that in these few months.

... or maybe it's starting to feel like Chinese New Year and I'm not home.

pathetic, self-resentment, angst... in short, I'm a basket-full of crazy. How can i be this discontented? GOSHHHHH WOMAN! SHAKE OUTA IT!!!

really need to watch a korean drama to get the tears outa my system. but I don't like Korean drama. URGGGGHHHHH!!!! life's full of stupid contradictions.

Wee Kheong a Wee Kheong.

Time: 7.11pm.
Date: 5 Feb, 2010.
Location: 256, evelyn st.

This the second time that I stepped foot in Monash Medical Centre, twice for the same person.

The first time was with Yueh Hwei, Aric, Iggy and Kane... for the same reason. aiyo.. that wee kheong... tiba-tiba told me that he to Moorabin, again.

Really hope that infection is nothing big... stupiak kidney stone... ISHHHH... it's gona be agonizing for him to go back to Malaysia wei...

... and you... left too.

Time: 10:20pm
Date: 20 Jan 2010
Location: 256 Evelyn st., Clayton.

not only good things come in small packages, wicked things too... like you.

I think that gal's prolly landed safely in KLIA by now coz this spoilt little gal flew MAS. spoilt wicked gal.

hmmm...

so to refresh your memories about what you'll be missing here... I took the effort to make you suffer. buahahah!

You're SOOOO gona misssss....




Random outings...




the PO family...




and yea.. Toan too...

p/s: PO is gona be a lot quieter without your lame jokes... =~~(